Welcome debut author LaConnie Taylor-Jones. As a bonus there will be a drawing. Two lucky people who leave a comment will win a signed copy of When A Man Loves A Woman. So read the wisdom in her essay on forgiveness, learn about her book and put your comment in for a chance to win a heartwarming novel!
To err is human, to forgive divine. Alexander Pope.
Forgive and Forget
How many of us truly believe the words of Alexander Pope? In order to apply the meaning, first we need to understand what forgiveness is all about.
Forgiveness is simply the act to pardon someone for a mistake or wrongdoing. It’s also one of the internal conflicts my heroine faces in my latest release, When a Man Loves a Woman. Boy, I’m glad I wrote that story. At the end of the day, I learned a thing or two more about forgiveness.
When it comes to forgiveness, oftentimes, we expect, or should I say, demand that the person who wronged US comes to US and ask for forgiveness. By no means am I saying this shouldn't’t happen. But maybe, just maybe we should consider the alternative by offering THEM forgiveness, first. Make any sense? In other words, forgiveness is something we should do for ourselves because it’s our gift. No matter how egregious someone’s actions are against us, we control whether we want to expend the negative energy it takes to remain offended by the offense, or learn to survive the pain, grow from it, and move on.
Okay, I’m going out on a limb here: many times we set ourselves up to be wronged! “How so, you say?” Case and point: we have a friend we know struggles with money management. In other words, they’re always broke. We also know this person borrows from Tom, Dick and Everybody, and never repays their debt. They come to us for a loan and we oblige. WE mistakenly convince ourselves that we’re the exception and they’ll repay us. Then OUR debt comes due, but the deadline passes. We scream bloody murder and harbor anger, which ultimately destroys the friendship. We vow to never forgive that person as long as we live. Uh…duh!! You knew you were getting into a pit filled with snakes, so why become upset when you’re bitten?
Conversely, there are times when someone’s words or actions blindsides us. Our spirit is broken, our soul is wounded, and we don’t think we’ll ever be able to forgive them for what they’ve said or done. Aaah, but we can.
In both cases, the power to forgive is present and within our control. Yes, we can choose not forgive, but in doing so, there will be consequences. If we don’t learn to set our spirits free through the art of forgiveness and move on towards a brighter future, then the offense and the offender has claimed yet another victim — YOU!!
Until next time – stay well and be blessed,
LaConnie
About the Author
LaConnie Taylor-Jones, is a health educator consultant and holds advanced degrees in community public health and business administration. She has been an active member of the San Francisco Area Chapter of RWA since 2003 and received the Romance Slam Jam 2008 Emma Award for her debut multicultural contemporary romance, When I'm With You. When a Man Loves a Woman is her second novel and she's hard at work on her next novel due to be released Spring 2009. Married, she is the mother of four and resides with her family in Northern California.
To learn more about ‘ When a Man Loves a Woman' and LaConnie Taylor-Jones, visit her online at www.laconnietaylorjones.com
To join the Virtual Book Tour visit her blog at www.laconnietaylorjones.blogspot.com or visit TheGRITS.com Virtual Book Tour site for more information!
Posts
I FINALLY LEANRED TO SAY. . .
22 hours ago
8 comments:
Hi Lynn:
Many thanks for letting me hang out at your house today.
I'm honored to be in the company of one of my favorite authors!! GOTTA GET NEXT TO YOU is one of my all-time favorite reads.
Best,
LaConnie
The operative word here is victim. I've harbored ill-feelings for others I feel have wronged me, yet all I've gotten out of it is carrying around a bunch of negative energy that eats away at my own vitality. Forgiving ourselves and others allows us to reclaim our vital life force again.
Great blog!
In other words, forgiveness is something we should do for ourselves because it’s our gift.
So true and an excellent post...I enjoyed reading it and look forward to tomorrow's stop!
xoxo
Forgiveness is something I really had to work hard on. It wasn't until I could write down all the pain someone caused me that I was finally free of it.
Forgetting is another thing. It's a lot easier now that I'm a senior citizen. I forget to remember.
Forgiveness is a powerful thing, and when we forgive others it opens the door for God to forgive us.
Thank you for sharing such an important truth.
~Martha: I'm glad you enjoyed the post. I, too was faced with a similar situation with a family member. For years, I harbored the hurt before I finally let go. Then I wondered what was wrong with me for taking so long to do it!
~Yasmin: Glad you stopped by and good to know you enjoyed the post, Sis.
~Saraphen: Great to meet you!!
You said, "Forgetting is another thing. It's a lot easier now that I'm a senior citizen. I forget to remember." I love it!! My 'senior moments' are turning into hours.
~Chicki: Hello my friend. So happy you rolled with me over here today. Thank you for sharing an important reminder to all of us.
Hi LaConnie, you've done it again! You given us more food for thought this week -- THANK YOU! I want you to know that your words also made me consider that if I cannot or will not forgive someone who has wronged me, what right do I have to expect God to ALWAYS forgive me each time I kneel before him and pray? Great post indeed!
Lynn, THANK YOU so much for hosting our virtual book tour today. Your blog is a fav of mine that I read regularly. I guess I need to start commenting more so you'll know I've been here. Again THANK YOU!
{{LaConnie}}} et. all Howdie
Happy TGIF!!!!
Hope you all are having a great Friday and excitedly waiting the weekend!
LaConnie I must admit I struggle with forgiveness all the time. I believe its a choice but part of me understands that My Father mandates that I forgive. I enjoyed reading your post about forgiveness b/c it gives me another way to view my struggle...Vic's mom helped me with forgiveness and for that I thank both of u!
Thanks
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